sandals and swimsuits are not a fashion statement. They are a way of life.

tans are just as important as biceps.

“diversity” only applies to opinion on wave height.

weekenders are the a-holes who ruin everything for the locals.

people know not to ask Kelly Ripa to be the celebrity judge for their charity event. Usually.

everyone “in college” drinks at La Supericas. If you catch the boat I’m floating.

floating boats is just not done unless you’re a weekender. The locals are the ones surfing and kayaking. All the time. Because life is good.

the life guards don’t run in slow motion. They swim to save lives.

Billy Joel is ubiquitous. It’s not his music as much as how he just keeps buying up houses all over the place. Where the deuce does he live??? He’s got like nineteen houses…