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So I started my “orientation” today by having the manager in the store tell me that she had no idea that I was supposed to even be there. She lets me go read in the corner and an hour later she says she’s going to “partner me up” with the secondary stock manager. So instead of a cushy, light “Hey, welcome to the store, now don’t steal crap” I get a “Hey, so people steal a lot from this store and people don’t like working here much.”

So that was a terrible half an hour.

Then the girl I’m “partnered up with” tells me that the store policy is to tag the Pink panties. Normally, only the Dressy panties (Angels, Body by Victoria, etc) are the ones that get all the tags. Unless your Pink room gets robbed a lot, you only tag random panties in the Pink room. So now I work at the store where the Pink room gets robbed a lot and the Pink panties are just as annoying as the Dressy panties. Completely inappropriate.

When I was chatting a little with some of the people in the back room, we were talking about where we all lived and they felt bad for me because I’m all alone. I told them that I had family within two and a half hours on Long Island and upstate as well as roommates like half an hour away. Even so, I think–even after they said things like, “Hiccups mean you’re getting fat”–they might have been shockingly and completely right.

So now I have a sore back and four processing hours that are only accounted for on the back of a folder that holds my application. What happened to the bras, the not-all-that-terrible music and the awesome jokes in the back room? I’m going to do my best to start bringing the latter two, but I will certainly not be bringing the first part. Let’s get to work.

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