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I’ve been listening to Ed Lover on Power 105 and Hot 97 at work in the past couple of days and I have to say, the commercials have definitely taught me some interesting things about what’s important in America.

There were–and this is just an approximation–about one million commercials asking if I have bad credit. Oddly enough, all the people who wanted to know if I had bad credit wanted me to buy a car or laptop. As a person who doesn’t have bad credit but knows what it implies, I found it odd that someone was excited by my purported inability to pay off my credit so that they could enlist me to accumulate more credit. Either they knew they would be able to make far more money off of me than the product they are selling than it is actually worth or they are a genuinely charitable organization. Or they look forward to just not getting checks for a long, long time.

Additionally, Fox seems to have some call-in show where the only people who call in are people who love the TV shows being advertised. The radio show host for that show seems to be more knowledgeable about what America likes than some television commentators. There’s also a collection of ABC and CW commercials that all use the same adjectives, words like: “smash-hit,” “number one,” “best,” “exciting,” and “Tuesday Night Sexromp.” So I guess watching about TV shows and then talking about them on a radio show inside the radio is important.

Then, of course, there are the anti-impotence pill endorsements. You know, things like, “Man to man, I use this every time I perform and couldn’t imagine doing it without [whichever pill it is this time].” Always the most exciting of informative commercials.

To summarize, I learned that Brooklyn is full people who are addicted to television shows as well as buying things and having terribly unfulfilling sex. Perhaps, in a different way, you could interpret this as a sign that excesses in television and commercial product consumption have lead to inordinate amounts of erectile dysfunctions.

To add to my list of turn-offs: girls who buy a lot of things and watch a lot of TV.


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