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Upon reflection, I am a completely misguided fuck. I’m in the middle of attempting to live four dreams at the same time while pretending that I can do one in my spare time. In all honesty, it was my high school dream to work at Victoria’s Secret and now I’ve done it and this is even my second tour. So one down, four to go then.

But what I mean is, I’ve wanted to be a firefighter since about the age of 15, an editor since the age of 21, a Lego designer, subliminally, since the age of 8 and a touring guitarist since the age of 19 or 20. Sure, I had the majors to do just about any of those–Mathematics and English (concentration in Poetry, bitches!!!!)–but how in the hell do I do all four at once??? One of them is even in Denmark–I can’t put out fires in NYC one week and fly off and design awesome T-shirts and city dwellers for the next week while writing songs and editing books on the plane. Even though that would pretty much be ideal, living the dream as it were. Jesus, I just realized I’d even love to make jokes for a living–I guess I incorporate that on the air time? Shiiiiiiiiyyuuuutttttt, that makes one down five to go!!!!!

To a certain extent, a lot of this could easily be classified as escapism. It’s not quite that I want what I can’t have, just that I can’t decide upon what I don’t have right now. I met a dude last night who was talking about an internship at his production company and I thought, “Why in the hell did I go to NYU’s Summer Publishing Institute if it’s fairly clear–to the both of us–that I would much prefer to be in the music industry?” It’s entirely possible the only reason is because I knew, subliminally, that this is the town for everything. I applied to NYU and Columbia, but when my mom suggested applying for the Denver program I was like, “Naaaahhhh, that’s dumber than illegal drug use.” She was all like, “Yeah…I guess you’re right.”

They got all kinds of shit here, literally anything in my wildest dreams. I guess I just have to send my resume to everyone I want to be. But in the mean time:

Dear cover letters,

I hate you, fuck off, die!!!!!!!


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