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Why the hell are there still overdraft protection fees in this day and age? I think it was probably perfectly understandable in the 40’s and earlier when a teller would get a call like, “Hey Geraldine? Some stupid college kid forgot how to add again. Can you transfer some money from his savings account to his checking account before the day is up? Great. Thanks. Oh, also, be sure to give yourself $20 of his money for being an idiot. But don’t bill him for idiot charges. Call it something like…I don’t know…overdraft fees?”

But these days who are they kidding with these overdraft fees? “Hey, computer program–some dumbass just wrote a check his ass couldn’t cash. Can you just not listen to me and automatically transfer $100 from his savings to his checking then automatically deduct another $20 and give it to the bank? Oh, you already did? Great work, computer program. Keep up the good work and we won’t fire you. Or reprogram you. Or update you. Wait a minute, why the hell am I talking to my computer? Where’d I put my anti-psychotics? Hey Geraldine! Who took my pants??”

Yes, that’s right. I am trying to imply that the only sane person in the Banking industry for the last 60 years has been Geraldine. In related news, way to go, WaMu! USA! USA! USA!

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