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I bet that’s a little weird, right? The two Mensa meetings I’ve been to are the “Smart Bar Hopping” ones. And every time I go, I go before i eat dinner. Four delicious beers and no food is always a bad decision. Theoretically.

Perhaps even more strange is meeting another member and hearing that none of the other meetings (actual words–“other parties”) are this much fun. Truly makes a man want to not got to any other Greater New York Mensa meetings except the ones where people seem to be only kind of comfortable around each other (Good work, alcohol, or, as some people know it, liquid courage).

I will admit though, I was again the youngest person there and that loud music seems to have the same effect on all nerds that it does on me: conversation dies unless you’re sitting right next to someone. I definitely started mouthing the lyrics to songs I knew and loved (yes, I’m that guy who ruins your subway ride by looking like I’m whispering sweet nothings to you) and zoned the fuck out. The two guys who weren’t older than 30 (besides me) left before 8 while everyone else could only stay until 9–because they work tomorrow. (Seriously? That’s why coffee was invented.)

But–attempting to reach the metaphysical–the proportions remain terrible (and I say this only because I’ve recently learned that hanging out with girls is far more insightful and fun than kickin’ it with dudes): it was three girls and five dudes. I’ve read the statistics; girls are gettin’ into college more than guys. Girls can stay focused while dudes stare at girls (Guilty). It’s a fairly simple equation: Girls don’t need dudes, guys can’t live without girls and,  thus, girls’ grades are higher. And yet…they all get their drinks for free (because some dumbass buys the drinks for them. Haaaiiii…I’m that dumbass.) and don’t have to show up at Mensa meetings.

Sigh…see you on sickening thirds (there’s no such thing, but see you there).


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