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1. Hang out with the Dick Clique

1.a. Drink Shiner.

1.b. Drink at another round of high school reunions at the only bar in town that anyone goes to.

1.b.i. Say hi to everyone you hoped you’d never see again.

1.b.ii. Remember why you haven’t talked to most of these girls since high school or–on rare occasion–sometimes regret not keeping up with some of them.

2. Play guitar every night from 7 to 10 PM

3. Reminisce about all the different kinds of horns you haven’t heard since leaving the City of a Million Car Horns.

4. Never wake up a minute before 12:15PM.

5. Watch all five Harry Potter movies in chronological order. Repeat.

6. Wish everyone a “Happy Ramadan,” particularly after they wish you a “Merry Christmas.”

7. Participate in American consumerism and overconsumption in order to prevent a recession. And to get gifts for your family.

8. Practice my Brooklyn accent by repeating everything my Grandma says (“I’m ole!!!” “I cowled Mahgret yestahday.” “I tawlked to Johnathan. He gets me Netflix.”).

9. Drive to downtown Houston and do something.

10. Make my sister uncomfortable by being overly affectionate.

11. Cook dinner for my family.

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