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I met up with C_____ L_ at Bubby’s in Tribecca because in New Jersey, C_____’s home and favorite state, “bubbies” are synonymous with “boobies.” I had planned on declaring, “Show me your bubbies!” upon my entrance, but something felt Catholic-Churchy about doing it with all the toddlers around. Seeing as our friendship runs about five years long now, I mentioned my intention to interview her and we spent the entire time talking about everything else, forgetting the interview completely. We set up an interview in Hoboken—her current New York Jersey Compromise—and chatted in her apartment to the point that I was a little worried we were both going to forget about the interview again. We went to lunch, admired Hoboken’s quaintness and, after lunch, C____ revealed that this was her first time being interviewed instead of interviewing; she’s way better at journalism than I am and has done cool things like publish her work in magazines she didn’t found with me and two of our friends, or like meet President Obama. I, however, have published most of my work in this blog and in the journal we founded and only met my (Texas) Senator once (in high school)—no photo, just a lasting impression of douche-ness. At any rate, I was surprised the interview happened in Piccolo Roma instead of in a Starbucks, but the location didn’t seem to be the real issue at hand: she was visibly uncomfortable while interviewing so I didn’t ask the hard questions like, “So then if you love New Jersey so much, then why don’t just marry it? Show me your bubbies!!!”

Chris: Who’s your favorite Sesame Street character?
C: I love Grover. He’s blue and underrepresented.
Chris: They spend too much time on Elmo.
C: Which means maybe they’re conservative.
Chris: What?
C: You know, the red one over the blue one.
Chris: Oh, I see.
C: He had the one skit that I loved when I was little. My Mom said I would just sit and laugh at it the whole time.
Chris: You don’t remember what the skit was?
C: Something about over an under…or through.
Chris: That was a running thing you would just die for?
C: Yeah. When I was little. So I love Grover.
Chris: Do you have a favorite band?
C: Right now or of all time?
Chris: I’m leaning towards all time.
C: I don’t know.
Chris: Then if you don’t know all time, what about right now?
C: Okay, I’ve always loved Weezer, but I don’t know if I’d say they’re the all time best band in the entire world.
Chris: You’re just a huge fan of Raditude?
C: Yeah.
Chris: Are you being sarcastic?
C: No, I just love Rivers Cuomo. Now…I don’t know. I listen to Pandora a lot, so whatever shows up. I like to listen to things that will relax me. Matt Nathanson…
Chris: Enya?
C: [Unfazed] Ben Harper, Jack Johnson, things like that.
Chris: What’s your favorite movie?
C: I’ve never thought about these kind of questions. I’m not kidding you. [Pause] Well…overall Love Actually is my favorite movie. But…no, that’s it. Love Actually.
Chris: Is there anything you love unconditionally?
C: People? Things?
Chris: Whatever you love unconditionally. Books? [Yes, I think I knew the upcoming answer in advance.]
C: I mean, I love my grandmother.
Chris: I’ll accept that.
C: Um…I love my book collection. There’s this one picture of my grandparents that I have that I’ll never get rid of. It’s on their wedding day and they’re walking out of the church and everyone’s throwing things at them.
Chris: Flowers and…
C: Yeah, but they’re all immigrants, standing on the side in big boots and headwraps and they’re all Italian. So…
Chris: [Laughs] Do you like this picture because your family is gangsters?
C: Pretty much. It’s like the Mafia.
Chris: It’s not the romance?
C: Well, I found the picture in my grandmother’s dresser and it was in between scarves, by itself. I showed it to my grandmother like, “Why is this here?” She was like, “You can have it. I don’t need it.” So I framed it and now it’s in my room. I love that picture.
Chris: What’s your favorite thing about New York?
C: The fact that everything’s there. You could be like, “I wanna go to see a Tim Burton exhibit at the MoMA, then go get a cupcake, then walk around the park—or nine different parks—, then go to the library.”
Chris: You gotta plan out the library thing because they tend to close a little earlier than MoMA…
C: Right, then I’d got to the library first [laughs], and then you have to carry the books. You’d have to stop home every once in a while.
Chris: Maybe library, home then MoMA, then cupcakes and Central Park.
C: Right. So…yeah, everything’s there.
Chris: Was that so hard?
C: That’s it?!?!?!?


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