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Monthly Archives: May 2010

Full Albums:

  • Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Beat the Devil’s Tattoo
  • Ghostface Killah, Fishscale
  • The Hold Steady, Boys and Girls in America
  • Phoenix, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
  • The Police, Reggatta De Blanc
  • Public Enemy, It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back
  • The Rolling Stones, Exile on Main St (Deluxe Edition)
  • Spoon, Transference
  • The-Dream, Love vs. Money
  • Warren Zevon, Genius: The Best of Warren Zevon

I don’t remember where it happened, but I saw Kid Rock’s music video for “All Summer Long” and thought, “Oh God, Kid Rock’s still pretending he’s living in the 70’s and covering “Werewolves of London” only to realize he was talking about some chick and not maulings. Next I know, I’m musing, “Damn, ‘Werewolves of London,’ ‘Boom Boom Mancini,’  ‘Detox Mansion,’ and ‘Sentimental Hygiene’ were my jams when I was ten and my dad used to play them in his Peugot on cassette. I wanna listen to some Zevon again.” Little did I know, I wanted to listen to a lot of Zevon. I think I listened to Genius like three or four times this week. It’s like I was trying to make up for all those years I haven’t been listening to Warren. That man was kinda hilarious and definitely awesome. Plus, if he was that tight with Dave Letterman, he’s my kinda guy.

Random Excellence:

  • UGK, “One Day”
  • Steve Winwood, “Split Decision”
  • The Notorious B.I.G., “I love the Dough (Feat. Jay-Z)”
  • GZA, “Labels” (Always read the labels.)
  • BlackRoc, “Coochie (Feat. ODB and Ludacris)”
  • The Clash, “(White Man) In Hammersmith Palais”
  • Jimmy Reed, “Take Out Some Insurance”
  • Shout Out Louds, “You Are Dreaming”
  • The-Dream, “Purple Kisses” (A hard decision, particularly because the other random The-Dream song was “Luv Songs,” a song I wish one day to reenact.)
  • A Tribe Called Quest, “Award Tour”

When not listening to Warren, spent a lot of time shuffling my music. It was like I was trying to pretend I didn’t want to just give Genius another spin.

We learn these things by heart.


I’m sad to say this is a true story.

An acquaintance of mine got iced Saturday night. For those of you uninitiated in this brotastic culmination of a bromance, it happens like this: You sneak up on your bro, get down on bended knee and present him with a Smirnoff Ice. If he does not have a Smirnoff Ice in his back pocket (Dude, what the fuck?), he has to get down on his knee and chug the entire Smirnoff Ice.

I have numerous concerns with this event. Firstly, it’s a grown man proposing. Secondly, instead of presenting a ring (let’s say something shaped like a hole, shaped like, oh, I don’t know, a vagina?), he’s presenting a phallic bottle. Thirdly, said hard penis is full of a milky white substance and if you extrapolate that a little further, the cryptosymbology involved here leads us to infer that bro is presenting bro with jizz in a jar. Symbolically. Finally (hopefully), the receiver gets down on his knee to accept the icing challenge. Thus, the proposal and acceptance become the same thing and both men are united. Gay man is betrothed to gay man and guzzles his jizz as quickly as possible–unless he dares face embarrassment and/or another icing.

Needless to say, during everyone’s joviality, I was mortified and embarrassed and will not be frequenting that bar for quite some time. If I connected all the dots right, the iced dude’s brother later tried to elicit a blowjob from a homeless man. I’m usually a huge advocate for the subway, but that’s when I called a cab.

You goddamned kids.

Sometimes when you spend the day avoiding reality, you forget to do one of the few things you should at least do until you try to go to sleep but that one thing won’t let you.

Full Albums:

  • AC/DC, Back in Black
  • The Afghan Whigs, 1965
  • Barry White, All Time Greatest Hits
  • Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Beat the Devil’s Tattoo
  • The Cool Kids, The Bake Sale
  • Crash Kings, Crash Kings
  • Earth Wind & Fire, Greatest Hits
  • Fall Out Boy, Folie A Deux
  • The Hold Steady, Heaven Is Whenever
  • K’naan, Troubadour
  • Kasabian, Kasabian and Empire
  • The Rolling Stones, Beggar’s Banquet and Let it Bleed
  • The-Dream, Love Hate
  • TV on the Radio, Dear Science
  • Van Halen, Fair Warning
  • Wiz Khalifa, Kush & OJ

Some select six-word reviews: Earth Wind and Fire surprisingly funky. BRMC: devil, drugs, girls and fucking rock. FOB: Not embarrassed, I like this album. Van Halen: “Lord strike that poor boy down!” K’naan: Terrifying, African, dangerous, but thoroughly enjoyable. Barry White: Sure knows how to make babies. 1965 and Love Hate: Simply cannot live without these albums.

Random Goodness:

  • The Rolling Stones, “Pass the Wine (Sophia Loren)”
  • Steve Winwood, “My Love’s Leavin'”
  • Phoenix, “Lasso”
  • Kings of Leon, “King of the Rodeo”
  • Joe Bonamassa, “Funkier than a Mosquito’s Tweeter”

Bonus! Jay-Z, “Encore” for the line (and mind you this song is off his retirement album), “As fate would have it, Jay’s status appears to be at an all-time high, perfect time to say goodbye. When I come back like Jordan, wearin the 4-5, it ain’t to play games witchu.” He definitely foreshadowed the shit out of at least three albums so far…

Oh man, note to self: even if you’ve pulled an overnight at the Secret the night before and wake up an hour before bowling for Team Gawker, keep forcing yourself to do it.

Definitely bowled a 127, met more people, went to a bar a block away from the Gawker offices, went to a rooftop gathering with three of the interns (where their music was plain old awesome) from last semester and left when the sun rose at 5:15AM. Everyone had ridiculous stories and incredible insight on the job that none of the other interns get to have because they had to go home. They also spread some gossip about a place that specializes in gossip, and, while that was epic, I feel the need to share those rumors and thoughts neither with you nor anyone else.

The point remains, hell of a night followed by lunch with a friend from college at 30 Rockefeller at 1PM. We get lunch, eat, chat, and watch Hoda Kotb enter the building. It was definitely weird, but I mean, it is where she works. Then I see the guitarist and the bassist for The Roots sit down two benches away. Then I see a girl from my poetry class in college walk in the building. Then another one of my friends from college walks by on the way to her bank. So that was a hell of a lunch.

I showed up to the Gawker Scavenger hunt this afternoon without a partner only to discover the next guy to show up without a partner rides a motorcycle. So on a motorcycle I have 1) ridden from Greenwich Village to the Upper West Side, 2) burned my calf on an exhaust pipe, 3) taken photos in front of some of the most iconic Manhattan TV apartments and show locations, and 4) almost been in an accident with some guy who decided to open his door while we were passing him. That’s a hell of a way to be introduced to motorcycle riding. Needless to say, my legs are still shaking, but it was 105% awesome. The dude’s so much better at things than I am that I was able to check into his motorcycle on foursquare.

All these people are too good at the internet. I gotta get up on this shit.

When I checked in to work back on Monday night, preparing to pull another 24 hour day, foursquare awarded me its “Crunked” badge. I definitely had a good laugh since I hadn’t been in a bar probably since Thursday.

Full Albums

  • Animal Collective, Merriweather Post Pavillion
  • Does It Offend You, Yeah?, You Have No Idea What You’re Getting Yourself Into
  • Led Zeppelin, Houses of the Holy, I, II, IV, In Through the Out Door
  • Ludacris, Chicken & Beer
  • Mayer Hawthorne, A Strange Arrangement
  • Passion Pit, Manners
  • Pearl Jam, Vs.
  • The Rolling Stones, Exile on Main St.

Honestly, Heaven Is Whenever put me in a Led Zeppelin mood. Oddly enough, I think there was even a sound on it that reminded me of an Animal Collective song.

Random Highlights

  • The Roots, “Web
  • The Cool Kids, “What It Is
  • The Clash, “I’m Not Down”
  • Kings Of Leon, “Crawl”
  • Justin Timberlake, “What Goes Around…/…Comes Around”

The beats on the first two are really why they’re there: I’ll probably love them forever because of the beats and then someday find out what they’re rapping about. Maybe the internet and a rooftop party? One day, we’ll all know. Also important to address the JT track. I have a friend from work who turned 29 on Saturday so he, his girlfriend and I went to his father’s house in Brooklyn where his dad played all kinds of awesome music like 3 Dog Night, Diana Ross, Smokey Robinson, Barry White and Al Green. I felt terrible on the way to work this morning, but the JT song felt a little like keeping the tradition going. Plus, my friend got into a fight with his girl and his pop was kind of mourning breaking up with his girlfriend. I think, subliminally, JT’s joint might have been the perfect pick-me-up song. Good shit.

Holy crap, there isn’t a person who works at Gawker who isn’t cooler than me. Even the people who used to be interns are still cooler than me. I feel like I need to pick up a cigarette habit, a general disdain for stuff and an interest in the same sex. But then again, my boss is kind of the shit and he seems to have none of those things, particularly the latter. Seriously, the guy’s amazing. About the nicest guy you’ll ever meet with way more talent than you’ll ever have use for.

But the point remains. After bowling, everyone went to a bar where there was definitely a set of trannies lip-synching songs. I was totally out of my element; for the first time in my life, I bowled less than 120 and then went to a bar with trannies.

And I definitely checked in at all of these places. My life continues to take a turn for the weird.

I joined foursquare yesterday and discovered that I only have about 10 friends on it, 1 of whom seems to be in the same city as me. I think I joined almost strictly because a) I have a smartphone and b) I want badges.

What the hell is wrong with me? They’re just badges…like anyone really cares if I become the Mayor of the Western Beef.

I saw Iron Man 2 in Imax and all I can say is, Holy Moses, Toy Story 3 is going to be amazing. And I enjoyed Iron Man 2.

Have  you ever had a 24 -hour day? Did it  happen while you were still in college?

I might not have done a work-marathon like Tuesday night/Wednesday morning since last summer, but it brings up some serious questions for me: If I’m the kind of guy who can be considered desirable enough at two places of employment to schedule for two workdays in one day, why is it that I’m still ungainfully employed? I know of a collection of people (and employers) off the top of my head who seem to like me and seem to find me reliable and yet, here I am working in retail and interning still. I’m reliable, talented and able–you’d think that’d be a good thing.

So the internship is Mondays and Tuesdays and today was Day 3. I spend most of my time using iShowU to capture videos from websites and Tivo boxes. Realistically, editing the videos can be a little monotonous and repetitive, but I also spend most of my days watching funny clips or catching up on classic comedy routines. And I get to put that on my resume. Yes, in Webster’s that’s probably Ex. 4 for “ludicrous” or Ex. 2 for “awesome.”

It’s not like it’s solid gold, though. I admit the responsibilities list is weak right now; I have independence like I’ve never before and I keep battling off urges to just spend my time there applying for jobs. I mean come on, my resume is amazing: who else interns this much or for this long?

No matter where I get my next job, I’m very excited to have this new phone with me. I got a Yelp app for it and for three out of three days, the recommendations have been amazing (obviously I filter for $ because I can’t spend $$$$). I went to an Indian place back on Tuesday that had Saag Paneer that, for the first time I know of, made me think, “Holy shit, I need way more spinach.”

Today I had some of the best Mexican food this side of the Mason-Dixon. I’m probably not qualified to make that statement, but I can definitely tell you I was extremely surprised that a hole-in-the-wall place like this with more signs about the absence of a bathroom than employees could have such quality tortillas and hot sauce. And then there was a coffee shop right across the street that had delicious coffee and white-chocolate macadamia-nut cookies. Thus, today was a mouth- and brain-gasm day. I love being me right now, I just need a new job that would let me afford to continue to love being me.