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Plot Summary: Two friends take a seven hour tour of things they both like in the city, working mostly from east to west, then back to the center.

Character List: Chris and B_____. Minor characters include B_____’s Boyfriend and C______ P______ (through discussion and excellence), the dude with the crystal ball, a gorgeous redhead, annoying men in Washington Square Park who wear checkered pants and yell countdowns a lot and for no cool noticeable reason, Chris and B_____’s cellphones.

Locations: Penelope. Crocodile Lounge. The High Line. Greenwich Village. Washington Square Park.

Themes: “Best Day Ever.” “I didn’t even have to use my AK.” “Boobies!” “I still can’t believe that girl happened.” (After looking down shirts on The High Line, we saw a beautiful girl. It turned out up close, she was actually gorgeous.) “What do you want to do next?” Child-like awe of everything (“That view/staircase/gelato is amazing.”) Foursquare Training (She went from 0 badges to 3 with my help). Wind (subway, taxi, etc.) blows friend’s dress up, Chris averts eyes. “Don’t pay with that.” (Photos from Crocodile Lounge’s Photobooth.) The Future (we’re both un-gainfully employed, pursuing arty-type careers so we mapped out dream situations.)

Key Facts: New York City has over eight million people in it. So I showered when I got home.

Analysis: Definitely should have been less eager to try out new skinny jeans in 80+ weather: shorts would have been a good decision.

Quiz: Is Raekwon’s “Canal Street” applicable to this story at all? (No. What the hell are you talking about? It’s just where they keep them whateva whatevas, na’mean?)

Suggestions for Further Reading: Ulysses, James Joyce. Because Bloomsday just ended. And because I enjoy going on odysseys with friends.

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