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J______ P____ has been my boss twice at the same job. She was promoted once, decided she didn’t want the stress, then later decided she wanted the stress. She moved out here from Ohio because she’s a fashionable lady who likes fashionable things. After this interview we talked about the search to find our spouses—people who are more talented, attractive and perhaps even capable than we are—who will love us because we may not be as good as them but we make them great. We met up at Calle Ocho where we drank copious amounts of sangria and then met up with her friend K__ at a bar and then I went to work. Work was lame.

C: Who’s your favorite Sesame Street character?
J: Snuffleupagus. Who’s yours?
C: Uh, it’s a tie between Oscar the Grouch and Cookie Monster.
J: I like Cookie Monster.
C: I don’t like how they decided to make him the Fruit Monster or something…because the kids aren’t eating right or something.
J: Yeah, that’s gay. Um, I like Snuffleupagus because she has long, pretty eyelashes.
C: [Laughs]
J: She’s so dopey.
C: She’s droopy and she has pretty…
J: Dopey. She’s cute.
C: Do you have a favorite band?
J: Band? [Pauses] What’s my favorite band. Does Mariah Carey count?
C: Mariah Carey. Sure, I’ll allow it. [We’ve talked about this before so I said:] I should have known. What’s your favorite movie?
J: Two.
C: You have two?
J: Eighty percent of the time, Pretty Woman; twenty percent of the time, Scarface.
C: You have to be pissed off…
J: I mean, I love Scarface, but to be in the mood to watch it over and over and over again…it’s probably only twenty percent of the time.
C: You have to be furious with someone…
J: Yeah, or just…
C: High on cocaine.
J: …just not in a girly movie kind of mood.
C: Ok. Is there anything you love unconditionally?
J: My brothers and sisters. And my Mom. But not my Dads. [Laughs]
C: Neither of them?
J: No. [Laughs] No, I love them unconditionally—but more my brothers and sisters.
C: And what is your favorite thing about New York?
J: Everything.
C: That’s a simple answer. Can you…extrapolate on that maybe? Maybe…the bars? Maybe…the boys? Maybe…how your dads aren’t here?
[Both laugh]
J: I think my favorite part about New York is that you never know who you’re going to meet or who you’re going to run into. You can have experiences in New York that you can’t have anywhere else in the world. Opportunities come and strike you, opportunities that you can’t find in Cincinnati, Ohio or in Texas.
[Both Laugh]
J: It’s just never going to happen somewhere else.
C: It’s a small world, too. There’s eight million people here and I run into people I know without planning it all the time. It’s always, “Holy shit! I know you!”
J: Yesterday, I had lunch with a guy who owns a clothing company and an advertising agency. I thought, “Perfect: two things that you can offer me a job in.”
[Both Laugh]
[I believe I later referred to showing boobs as part of networking. Although we both found it humorous at the time, I think I regret that.]


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