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I wish tall girls would lower their standards.

I once read something that claimed tall people are promoted more often than short people because everyone spends so much time looking up to them literally that they start looking up to them metaphorically. And that’s always the greatest irony: these women are always powerful, amazonian, and impressive though they seem to think they can’t date anyone unless they’re as tall as or taller than they are.

I will admit I’ve had crushes on tall women quite a few times. Once when I was young and dumb (like two years ago), I realized a tall woman had a crush on me far too late; and it kills me to this day. Hanging out with tall single women has, on occasion, been the best way to have a depressing night. It’s difficult to watch them turn down so much love, whether they’re foiling seduction attempts or simply not talking to anyone because no one else is tall.

Nine times put of ten, these women are six foot three and taller, although that never appears to be an issue for potential suitors. I hope I’m not exalting these women too much or raising their status from Beautiful Amazon to Living God unnecessarily, but the times I’ve not been attracted to a tall woman have been rare. Reciprocation feels like it’s been even rarer because I’m like five foot nine or seven or five. The specifics don’t seem to matter because I’m not taller than six foot two.

Which is to say, it feels strange to be deemed less interested or less capable strictly because I’m short or, in some statistics’ opinions, average height. Shouldn’t the courage and the wherewithal to engage be enough to express interest against all odds? It hurts to see these women set up this ridiculous barrier for themselves, like latina women who won’t date chinese men or black men who only date black women. The Capulets and Montagues are long dead and Obama is not longer defending the Defense of Marriage Act. Who cares who you date?

If you make each other happy, should you not be friends or date or elope or follow each other on Tumblr whatever it is you kids are doing these days? Not talking in bars or not dating because of height seems plain old ludicrous.

It’s 2011, which, in my opinion means it is high time for people to date whoever the fuck they want without absurd restrictions.

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