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Full Albums:

  • E.S.G. and Slum Thug, Boss Hogg Outlaws (Chopped and Screwed)1
  • Pete Rock, Lost and Found2
  • Schoolboy Q, Habits and Contradictions3
  • Action Bronson, The Program EP
  • Asher Roth, Pabst & Jazz
  • Calvin Harris, I Created Disco
  • Faces, A Nod Is as Good as a Wink…to a Blind Horse
  • Friendly Fires, Pala
Random Excellence:
  • Talking Heads, “Girlfriend Is Better”
  • Senses Fail, “Handguns & Second Chances”
  • The Rolling Stones, “Stray Cat Blues”
  • Earth Wind & Fire, “September”
  • Brand New, “Failure by Design”

Songs of the Week:

  • Buzzcocks, “Why Can’t I Touch It?”4
  • Sadat X, “Turn it Up”
  • Outkast, “Decatur Psalm”
  • The Hold Steady, “Joke about Jamaica”
  • Fall Out Boy, “Pavlove”

Reviews:

1. Bless my lucky stars, I was so enamored with “Street Millionaire” that I looked up the original; it was my first and only mistake with this album. Accenting that song’s ridiculously awesome horn track with an Isaac Hayes sample? Where do you get off, Mr. Producer Man I Can’t Be Bothered to Look Up? And you, Mr. Michael “5000” Watts? I’m sure it’s somewhere in Houston, but I digress. Before 5k departed, he left us all an amazing gift here. These two dudes’ voices were designed to be slowed down and to melt into the instrumental section like hot butter. Phenomenal.

2. It’s like an obese mother: It’s big and funky, but it gives the best hugs you’ve ever had.

3. First and foremost: who the fuck is this guy and how the fuck is he rapping circles around pretty much everyone? The losses that I’m currently stationed at are seemingly uncountable. One of my friends recommended it and, since I respect his musical taste, I was like, “The fuck is this? This playlist album cover has a rape on it.” But unlike rape, every song was just more and more waterfalls of aural awesome. For everyone keeping track at home, that’s two rape jokes in two days I’m not entirely comfortable with, but the album’s still pretty amazing.

4. Two different bars in a week played this song, and I Shazammed the shit out of it both times. That bass line is nothing short of hypnotizing.

Comment:

My doctor told me I have plantar fasciitis this afternoon. I guess it’s good I have a way to treat this pain I’ve had in my left foot for two weeks, but it’s still some bullshit. My girlfriend’s been making fun of me for going from ailment to ailment in the past couple of months: “You’re one of those people who’s always sick, aren’t you?”

I’ve never really thought about it because I always thought I was healthy. And I’m still inclined to believe it’s just chance, but I really am concerned that once I mount the most pressing issues of this diagnosis, I’ll walk my way into something even more crippling.

“Congrats on beating your fasciitis symptoms! The bad news is, you’re the first person to actually develop cerebral palsy! Everyone else’s born with it…and you seem to have developed it like it was airborne flu–which it most certainly is not. You’re going to be in the Guinness Book of World Records! Uh…congrats! again…”

But I still know that’s ridiculous. I’ll be fine for a while and then maybe something’ll come up. My natural inclination to just wait it out will overcome and I’ll unintentionally make my impending pneumonia or white blood cell deficiency last too long before I go to a doctor, and I’ll then I’ll try to learn from my mistakes again.

And wash my hands religiously everywhere.

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