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I’ve made a simply huge mistake. Unlike last year when I couldn’t be bothered to plan ahead for on-time delivery, this year, I’ve barely pulled this together the night before. In fact, most of the work was really done back when I prepared Chris is Full of Lists, so some of this will come as absolutely no surprise at all.

That said, Hooray! It’s Valentine’s Day and this is Dia Del Valentin ’12. Feel free to contact me with your shipping information and I will gladly front the 44 cents it will require to mail you hot beats pressed on a real CD-type device. However, if you are one of the aforementioned group of women who get one every year regardless…I will be contacting you.

One million and a half apologies for slapdash preparation and tardiness. All my love.

  1. The Weeknd, “D.D.”
  2. Eddie Money, “Baby Hold On”
  3. Thin Lizzy, “Dancing In The Moonlight”
  4. The Strokes, “Two Kinds Of Happiness”
  5. The Black Keys, “Stop Stop”
  6. TV On The Radio, “Will Do”
  7. Adele, “One And Only”
  8. Mayer Hawthorne, “Finally Falling”
  9. Tom Vek, “Nothing But Green Lights”
  10. Stevie Wonder, “All Day Sucker”
  11. Bar-Kays, “Holy Ghost”
  12. Beyoncé, “Countdown”
  13. Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth, “I Got A Love”
  14. The Weeknd, “The Morning”
  15. Desire, “Under Your Spell”
  16. Friendly Fires, “True Love”

I see you like dancing. 1-3: You really are an enchanting being, let us commence the mating ritual by circling each other and flapping our limbs as if we can’t feel them.

We both have reservations. 4-6: I get it, we’re all a little damaged. But…couldn’t this be okay? Let’s give it a shot.

I’m in. 7-9: Holy shit, are you my lucky penny at the bottom of a flight of stairs? Because I just fell for you.

Funky love. 10-11: People are always like, “You guys really dance well together,” or “Hey, stop asking me to compliment you on how well you dance together.”

Rapping love. 12-14: It’s like funky love, but there’s more cursing. Friends are always like, “Yo, your significant other is fucking cute!” and you’re like, “Yeah and they kiss all sexy.” Or maybe they’re like, “Whoa, I didn’t know you knew all the lyrics to Notorious B.I.G.’s “#! *@ Me (Interlude)” and you’re like, “I don’t know what you’re talking about! Now hand over your chains or your cat gets more cuts from this butter knife than your butter did during Thanksgiving!” Or something.

Indie love. 15-16: Everybody settles down and finds a kind of groove and a whole less cats are in the pet cemetery. Everyone starts talking about “chill vibes” and weird crap like that–but it works.


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  1. […] now that I’ve totally undersold this collection and continued the trend of presenting and mailing this late, here’s your Dia Del Valentin ’13. It might come as […]

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